A baby shower is a fun way of marking one of the most exciting milestones in life: motherhood to a new child. Planning a shower, however, can be a little stressful if you’ve never done it before. Luckily, we can help. Here’s our expert answers to some of your questions. This edition: baby shower invites.

When do I send my baby shower invitations out?

Baby shower invites, like any other event invitations, should be sent out approximately four to six weeks before the big day. This gives guests plenty of time to make their plans but doesn’t give them so much time that it falls off their radar and is forgotten about. If you are inviting people who will need to travel, it is a good idea to let them know ahead of time with a phone call or email.

Are baby showers just for women?

Traditionally, only women were invited to baby showers. They were considered a time for female bonding over experiences only women have. These days, there’s no rules about who should be included. Most baby showers are still women only, but it’s becoming more and more common for people to invite male friends and the partners of their female friends along. Make it a whole family celebration with kids in tow too, if that’s what sounds fun to you! Just make sure your guests know what’s up so they aren’t feeling awkward trying to work out if their boyfriend is invited.

Who should I invite to my baby shower?

Once you’ve decided whether to have mixed company or ladies only, it’s time for the guest list. Usually baby shower guest lists feature both friends and family members: Mum, Nanna, sisters, aunts, cousins, childhood friends and coworkers alike. There’s no rule that says you have to do it this way, though. Some people choose to have separate celebrations with different groups of people, or to only have an ‘official’ shower with one group. Do what makes you happy.

Word of advice: Don’t forget about your partner’s family. Many a mother-in-law has been hurt to discover that she was left out of a celebration for her incoming grandchild. If you’re on good terms with your in-laws, make sure they get an invitation.

Do I ask people to RSVP to the baby shower?

Like most events, it’s helpful to have some idea of numbers so that you can adequately cater for everyone. It’s a good idea to ask guests to RSVP to help you prepare. That said, baby shower RSVPs are usually more informal than something like wedding RSVPs. Usually you won’t include an RSVP card with the invitation, just a phone number or email address, and the RSVP date is usually just a week before the shower. Be prepared for the fact that not everyone will reply, especially if things are clearly informal.

What information needs to be included on the invite?

Baby shower invitations should always include the following:

• The name of the mother-to-be
• The date and time
• The venue and address
• RSVP details

You might also include some hints to the theme and the name of the host (if someone besides the mum-to-be is hosting). Gift information can also be included on the invitation.

Can I ask for specific gifts?

Yes, as long as you do it politely of course! Many people choose to use a gift registry to help guests choose a gift for their baby shower. This is absolutely appropriate, saving guests stress over what you might need. It is also fine to have a wishing well to encourage cash gifts rather than actual products. You might also choose to ask for gifts along a certain theme: a popular idea is asking guests to bring along a children’s book to build a library for the baby. Finally, if you want to request donations to charity in lieu of gifts or just no gifts at all, this is fine too. Whatever your preference, it’s fine to include this on the invitation, on a separate card alongside the invitation, or let people know by word of mouth.